GIFTS THAT KEEP ON GIVING

USA Today reports that the vote on the death penalty for Zacarias Moussaoui was, repeatedly, 11 to 1 for giving him the spike, which means, as the dawn portends the day, that there will now ensue (a) a shitstorm of contemptuous fury that the pigheadedness of one individual resulted in massive injustice, or at least a massive case of justice denied, as well as (b) a great wave of praise for the courage displayed under historically immense pressure by one person of true character, integrity, and devotion to principle.

Personally, I probably would have voted with the loner for the first few ballots, at least, but I'm reasonably sure, given my lack of character, integrity, etc., that I would have caved in time for dinner. For me--and based on talk show calls, newscast interviews and so forth, for many others as well--Moussaoui was far more pathetic than evil, and all the more pathetic for his over-the-top effort to present himself as the embodiment of lethal and vindictive righteousness when he was in fact, and quite obviously, both irrelevant and useless.

And, not to put to fine a point on it, not exactly guilty. The verdict has produced at least one Call and Response in the debate:
C: "If this creep doesn't deserve the death penalty, who does?"
R: "Well, how about somebody who actually physically killed someone?"

Nevertheless, his scorn and callousness toward the victims' loved ones, including even those who spoke against his execution, and his jubilation over the very notion of dead Americans, do tend to leave the observer disposed to disemboweling the sonofabitch, or perhaps loaning him out to the U.C. archery team as a practice dummy. I can certainly understand the frustration and rage felt by those who truly believe he deserved to die. They deserve some release for their emotions. They deserve some satisfaction. So here's what I have in mind:

The Moussaoui Mean-Spirited Gift of the Month Club

Anyone can join, anyone can participate. All it involves is that each month, you send a gift to Zac the Knife, which you have chosen for its sheer cruelness of irony, its ability to underscore and heighten the grimness of life spent in close, constant, and solitary confinement. My first gift, for example, would be a kite.

Subsequent possible gifts, for those interested in joining the MM-SGMC, might include...
Hiking boots and compass
Copy of Playboy
Skateboard
Ping-pong table, paddles and balls
Binoculars
Carry-on luggage
Frisbee
Snorkle gear
Tango lessons
Sunblock

And remember, the important thing is that you don't have to spend a lot.
It's the thought that counts.