THERE'S A WEAPON OF ASS DESTRUCTION IN MY PANTS

The following item is now several weeks old, but can still, I believe, be instructive to those who are drawn to political theater. Take heed.

"Athens, Ohio (AP) — Ohio University will reimburse a student for his bicycle, which was destroyed after officials mistakenly believed a sticker with the name of a Florida punk band was a bomb threat. The band's name is "This Bike Is A Pipe Bomb." The sticker on Patrick Hanlin's bike led authorities to shut down four campus buildings. Bomb experts destroyed the bike to find no bomb inside. A university attorney says the replacement cost of the seven-year-old touring bike is between $800 and $1,300.
A charge of inducing panic had been filed against Hanlin, but was later dropped."


This calls forth in the imagination various other possible, if similarly unlikely, band names that might cause difficulties or at least awkward moments for fans who display them on, say, clothing or vehicles or personal items. To wit...

This Backpack Is Loaded With Child Porn
I Just Killed A Priest
This Car Is Stolen
Parole Violator
Death To Law Enforcement Officers Everywhere
Follow Me To Osama Bin Laden
Guess Who's Buried In My Basement?
I Hiked All Over Cambodia And All I Got Was This Lousy Bird Flu
The Grateful Dead