Tuesday, August 29, 2006

A CONCEPT FOR THE SYMBOL-MINDED

As we head into another captivating and colorful stretch drive, it has become clear that baseball is more than just hits, runs, outs, and errors these days. The game has taken on new dimensions and elements that no one could have anticipated back when the first box scores were invented. The fact is, traditional scorekeeping symbols are no longer sufficient to account for the realities of the modern game. Here are some proposed new ones to help fans in attendance to fully record the action on the field--or in the stands.

(BOX SCORE SYMBOL)
---ACTION REPRESENTED


(Little beer cup with foam)
---Missed inning while waiting in line for a brewski

(Little empty beer cup upside down, one drop hanging from the cup rim)
---Missed inning while waiting in line to take a leak

(ZZZ's)
---Fell asleep during pitching change

(Little "splatter" doodle)
---Spilled mustard on box score, no idea what happened

(Three little stars)
---Hit in head by foul ball

(Three little Dollar signs)
---Hit in head by foul ball while seated next to lawyer

(Big dollar sign)
---Caught Barry Bonds home run ball

(Three big Dollar signs)
---Hit in head by Barry Bonds home run ball while seated next to lawyer

(Little cork)
---Player called out--bat found to be corked

(Little cork with arms)
---Player called out--upper body found to be corked

(Little red cross)
---Player knocked unconscious by thrown object

(Two little red crosses)
---Player knocked unconscious by drunken fan

(Three little red crosses)
---Player knocked unconscious by delayed drug reaction

(Stick figure with hairy butt)
---Game halted by streaker, male

(Stick figure with boobs)
---Game halted by streaker, female

(Stick figure with boobs and hairy butt)
--Game halted by streaker in San Francisco

(Little hypodermic)
---Player removed from game due to steroid overdose

(Little hypodermic in circle with slash)
---Player removed from game due to steroid withdrawal seizures

(Little hypodermic with handcuffs)
---Player removed from game, arrested for dealing steroids

(“HR” crossed out)
---Long fly ball out that would have been a home run if the batter were still juicing

(Clenched fist)
---Game halted by fight among fans

(Crutches and IV)
---Game halted by fight among fans over valuable record-setting home run ball

(Band-aid, or dove of peace)
---Game halted by “brawl” among players

(Small hole in scoresheet)
---Umpire blew call so badly, scorekeeper stabbed scorecard with pen in fit of rage

(Bat and ball with slash through it)
---Game called because of players' strike

(Umpire’s mask with slash through it)
---Game called because of umpires' strike

(Rx symbol with slash through it)
---Game called because of pharmacists' strike

(Little car or empty stadium seat)
---Left after 7th inning to beat traffic

(Little Gameboy or logo)
---Actual game too slow and boring; missed inning while playing much more exciting MVP Baseball 2005 video game

1 Comments:

Blogger ....J.Michael Robertson said...

The male symbol with the little arrow broke and dangling: Hundredth time one's wife refers to the umpire as the referee or says that in her opinion the batter should get credit for a hard-hit ball even if the play results in an out.

August 29, 2006 at 11:13 AM  

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