CLASH OF THE TETONS

Today's article of interest is brought to you by the Associated Press, which reports that in Wyoming, local law enforcement and other authorities have had it up to here with naked people running around after they get done smashing cars. No, wait, the naked people don't smash the cars. Decent, wholesome family types do that.

Here's the deal: Wyoming police have announced that they are going to seriously arrest and charge people who insist on carrying out the recent tradition of streaking the Teton County Fair at the very end, after the last event. I don't know how much more serious they can get than last year, when they tasered a guy who was streaking with a fire extinguisher. Wait, no, they didn't taser him with a fire extinguisher, he was carrying the...never mind.

All kinds of things come to mind reading this article. First, the phrase it uses in every instance to describe this get-tough attitude is "crackdown." Whenever naked people are involved, you want to work the word "crack" into the piece, even if merely as a syllable.

Second, the authorities emphasize that decency is the key consideration, there are families here, and therefore family values, and good taste must prevail, and oh yeah, we're going to conveniently overlook the fact that this wholesome event is called the Teton County Fair, given that it's in Teton County, in the shadow of the Grand Tetons, and that the word teton is French for TIT. Which is a play on what the mountains resembled to early European explorers, who were invariably male and lonely.

Third, the final event that precedes the streaking? A Demolition Derby. Getting into a car and driving it into as many other cars as violently and destructively as possible? Good clean fun. Brief animated nudity? Crank up the taser.

The showdown this year will occur on July 30, and I believe the Best Western still has accommodations available.