LAST CALL (or) IF YOU'RE SO DEVOUT, WHY ARE YOU ORDERING DOUBLES?

Let me make sure I've got this straight.

Dangerous liquids, their detection and confiscation, have become the obsession du jour of our varied and almost innumerable agencies in the anti-terrorist sentinal biz. Among the fluid substances that you can no longer take onto a plane in carry-on luggage: everything known to man that is more liquid than an anvil. Among the fluid substances that you can check through in stowed baggage without a care in your evil heart, later detonating by remote control the plastique explosive or anthrax-infused eye shadow or whatever spectacularly deadly concoction you have disguised as a cosmetic happenstance: see above.

And the one substance known to be both flammable and explosive, capable not only of fueling serious destruction just as relates to physical objects, but also known to inflame emotions, provoke misbehavior, and generally induce otherwise law-abiding persons to acts of serious criminal potential? That would be alcohol. Available, for a price, on every flight of any serious mileage, to almost any adult onboard, supplied by and courtesy of the airline.

Hell, stick a little wad of cloth in the neck of that mini-bottle of gin, light it up, and voila: a serviceable, if Lilliputian, Molotov cocktail.

Once again, it appears that I am the only one to perceive the madness.