Monday, January 15, 2007

THE SUCKHOME SYNDROME

There has been much questioning in the media the last few days as to why newly-freed Shawn Hornbeck, who was kidnapped by Michael Devlin at age 11 in 2002, never made an attempt to escape from Devlin on one of the many occasions on which it would have been easy and totally safe to simply walk away and go, if not home, at least to the nearest police station. The answer seems fairly obvious to me.

Not to be needlessly harsh or superficial about it, but have you seen his mother and stepdad? Have you heard them express themselves? These people would lower property values at a Bakersfield trailer camp. Looking at stepdad, one can only think, as I did, "Jesus, I hope I never lose that many teeth." As for mom, she looks like she could have posed for the label on a bottle of iodine. My guess is that even at age 11, they gave Shawn the willies.

Note that Shawn's parents go by the last name of Akers, while Shawn chose to remain a Hornbeck. When my mom remarried, I took my stepfather's name. It was my way of indicating that I wished to be part of, and identified with, my family. Shawn evidently didn't quite feel that way.

Boiled down, I think he stayed with Devlin for five years because Devlin never made him watch "Hee Haw" re-runs.

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your comments about Shawn's parents are cruel and cutting. Not everyone in this world is fortunate enough to have parents that look like Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt.

Also, in regards to Shawn's last name being "Hornbeck" as opposed to "Akers": If you do a little research, you will find that Shawn's stepfather had been planning to adopt him right before Shawn disappeared. You can read the story here: http://suburbanjournals.stltoday.com/articles/2007/01/13/news/sj2tn20070
113-0114ndj_hornbeck.ii1.txt

Akers still has the paperwork for adoption.

January 16, 2007 at 5:48 AM  
Blogger B. Wieder said...

That's one of the unavoidable drawbacks of jokes: someone is invariably the butt of them. Then again, my take represents the image that several million American adolescents have of their parents. We may yet discover whether Shawn was/is one of them.

January 16, 2007 at 1:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bob Wieder you ignorant slut. Don't be bringing that weak irony shit into *my* field of vision, though I would, of course, have to seek that WIS out, since a blog is not mashed into one's face like a shaving cream pie into the face of an impudent rookie in more than one ML sport. The kid had a simple choice: Jethro or not Jethro. Staying Jethro meant maintaining the inside track with Elly Mae....

I must concede. That sans teeth thing was a little ... off-putting.

January 16, 2007 at 6:03 PM  

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