Tuesday, January 03, 2006


For the possible amusement of anybody who happens to stumble upon this blog, here are three items that I, perhaps in similar fashion, recently stumbled upon while negotiating the Net.

First, this news, taken verbatim, from http://www.suntimes.com/output/news/cst-nws-bad03.html --

"INDIANAPOLIS -- State transportation officials are considering a 'bad driver surcharge' that would fine drivers who cause accidents that lead to traffic jams. The fee is meant to reduce the number of traffic-snarling crashes on Indiana's most congested highways and roads, the Indianapolis Star reported. 'If you have a driver that's causing problems, that takes use of the roads away from others,' said Thomas Sharp, commissioner of the Indiana Department of Transportation. 'The whole purpose is to keep traffic moving.'''

Imagine: inflicting actual punishment on motorists whose slipshod, inattentive, pushy or bonehead driving causes others to be imprisoned in traffic jams. I don't know who came up with this concept in Indianapolis, but if anybody wants to circulate a petition to bring them west to run California, I'd sign.

Frankly, I would love to see such vehicular assholes sued by every other single driver who was, thanks to them, frozen in gridlock, who was made late for work or an appointment or who simply needed to get to a restroom. I can't remember which standup comic used to do a take on this with the tagline that, after crawling along for 40 minutes to cover 3 miles, when you finally got to the accident site your attitude was that by God, somebody had BETTER be freaking dead. I won't go quite that far. But nailing them with a harried commuters' class action suit for inconvenience-related damages? You bet.

I'm more ambivalent about punishing potential suicides, specifically those whose threats to jump from freeway overpasses, major bridges and the like wind up shutting down high-density thoroughfares. On the one hand, my heart goes out to someone with so little regard for their life. On the other hand, hey, you want a reason to kill yourself, you inconsiderate bastard? My lawyer will make sure that you get one. Decisions, decisions, philosophically speaking.

Meanwhile, at http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1527891/posts
we read that, with the opening of its latest penal facility in Crawfordville, the state of Florida now has 3 faith-based prisons. Three, I say. According to this item, the Florida state prison system puts a lot of stock in faith, its power to reform and remake and so on. Nevertheless, I notice that they still have armed guards, high walls and razor wire. Faith clearly has its limits. Plus, evidently, those doing long stretches of years in confinement are expected to have more of it than those blessed with freedom and prosperity. Go figure.

And finally, for those parents of teenage sons who find it next to impossible to get them conscious, dressed and at the breakfast table each morning, there is a company that is promoting such provocative breakfast cereals as "Cheery HOs," "Internet Porn Flakes," and, for the gay youth, "Great Nuts." That should make Junior rise and shine. The entire product line is viewable at http://www.mainstreetsonoma.com/cereals.html


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January 7, 2006 at 11:36 PM  

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