KATHY LEE MEETS EDWARD TEACH

AP--Miami--11/7/05 -- The Seabourn Spirit, a luxury cruise ship operated by a subsidiary line of the Carnival Corp., was attacked by a gang of pirates about 100 miles off the coast of Somalia today...

SURVIVORS OF PIRATE RAID RECOUNT EXPERIENCES

Passenger Becca Hempel, Scottsdale, Arizona: "It was terrible, the way the pirates swept over the aft deck and into the dining room. It was just before lunch, and they simply poured in and just...took over! A horrible man with tattoos on his face, on his face! just reached out and grabbed the crab cakes right off mother's plate! And there was this one huge pirate, with these horrible long dreadlocks and a hook on one hand who kept stamping his feet and bellowing, "You call this a buffet? Aaarrhh!"

Lounge Steward Bahkti Chimmichacorn, Ceylon: "My first thought was 'Vishnu, take me, it's another bloody training exercise, like the iceberg alert! The brass at Carnival is always pulling these little fake surprise emergencies. But then I realized the boys at corporate would never spring for the money for all that costuming. Also, there was the damage from the rocket propelled grenades. And of course, when they tied the activities director in chain and threw him over the side."

Amos "Peg Leg" Mursali: "The recreation facilities weren't at all what I was hoping for. I think that put a number of us out of sorts, for one thing. I personally felt that the rock climbing wall was, for me, rather a slap in the face. You can see why we lost our tempers. Although I do regret the impalings. In any event, Carnival has certainly seen the last of my business."