Thursday, October 27, 2005

TOOTH YANKER TAKES "CANDY FROM A BABY" CONCEPT TO THE BANK

This is an actual Associated Press item from today:

"MENTOR, Ohio What's the worst day of the year for an orthodontist? Dr. Kenneth Lawrence says it's the day after Halloween. Every year on that day he gets phone calls from parents whose children have damaged their braces by eating too much chewy Halloween candy. So Lawrence came up with a plan to cut down on those calls. He offers trick-or-treaters $1 a pound for their goodies. He insists the plan he started five years ago has been very successful. Last year, children turned in more than 80 pounds of candy. As he did last year, Lawrence says he'll send the candy to soldiers serving in Iraq. He suspects much of the candy will then be passed on to Iraqi children."

What a fabulous scam! Have you priced candy lately? The only candy you can get for a dollar a pound would have to be made of tile grout. At eighty pounds per haul, he's raking it in! Figuring Halloween candy costs about $2.50 the pound, that's a net of $120. As an orthodontist, he'd have to work...what...about 9 minutes to earn that much. And sending it to our troops? Oh please. Yeah, it'll be passed on to Iraqi children. Female Iraqi children, average age around 17. "Why do you think they call it a Big Hunk, Mushtari?"

2 Comments:

Blogger ....J.Michael Robertson said...

So then Mushtari is the Arabic equivalent of Brittany?

Or are we talking about that au pair the pall resulting from whose hasty exit still hangs dark over your household?

October 27, 2005 at 2:50 PM  
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October 28, 2005 at 5:07 AM  

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