LIMERICKS OF THE DAMNED

MICHAEL JACKSON

Though he's pictured as some horrid beast,
Any guilt that he felt’s been released.
His "kid love,” while bold,
Is no sin, he's been told
By no less than five Catholic priests.


PARIS HILTON

Miss Hilton’s sex tape, though not toney,
Proved her hot-pants renown is not phony.
When she stayed on that farm,
They declared with alarm,
“To be safe, we had best hide the pony.”


MEL GIBSON

Since Mel’s “Passion” made snuff flicks seem tame,
He now hopes that the millions who came
Will be just as enticed
By his grisly new “Christ”
Action figures and video game.


DICK CHENEY

Though our troops, and Iraqis, are hurtin’,
Cheney says,”We can’t leave, that’s for certain.
“If we called the war off it
“Would mean far less profit
“For my old pals at Halliburton.”