BUREAUCRAP

If you're considering a career with the FBI, and which of us isn't, be warned beforehand that the following activities, as detailed in a recent, actual internal Bureau report on agents who've engaged in said activities, can get you fired:
--Calling phone sex hotlines while on duty;
--Having sex with prostitutes while on duty;
--Having sex with FBI informants while on duty;
--Stealing $400,000 from the informant-payoff fund to cover your gambling debts;
--Trying to sell cocaine to other agents;
--Shooting your wife with your FBI-issue weapon;
--Having sex with female informants and then bumping them off.
Serious no-no's, every one. Plow, or strangle, a snitch while on the clock and poof, there goes the Grade 12 pension. On the other hand, dressing up in women's lingerie and prancing around your own executive FBI Director's office evidently remains a gray area.
(Source: AP, 2/19/04, citing internal FBI report released 2/18.)